Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
