I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Randomize
