Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Enjoy the penises
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
