Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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