try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
