that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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