On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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