What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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