dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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