bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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