My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
