Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
