We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
