what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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