I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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