Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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