there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
