Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
