dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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