Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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