I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
