I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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