at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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