i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
