the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Green mimosas i think yes
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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