are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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