her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
