so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
