Your face is a jimmy john
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
