I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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