Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Farmville is her only friend.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
