Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
