That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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