So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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