why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
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Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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