I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
