Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
