I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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