shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
