Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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