so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
