I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
