I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
can u get pink eye on your cock?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
