looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
