and next time when you feel me up, do it right
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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