Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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