need another drink. this is the easiest way
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
