i love accidental penises.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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