Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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