There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
